I reject your rejection

Due to recent events (economic horror show and skyrocketing unemployment), it feels nice to pull out this ultimate rejection letter again. It might feel even better to actually use it. If I received it, I would definitely look over your resume again.

Dear Mr. Rich Higgles,

Thank you for your letter dated February 17, 2009. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me the position of Sales Manager and Dynatrode.

This year, I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Dynatrode’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting job applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following my Hogs on the High Seas Mexican Riviera cruise on March 15th. I look forward to working with you.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
Sir Matt Ch0lly Esq.